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Competing Like a Lady PDF Print E-mail
Culture and Politics - Sex and Culture
Written by Douglas Wilson   
Friday, 24 February 2012 16:51

One time, many years ago, our family drove up to a summer basketball camp where Nate was participating. While there, we took a look around, and watched some of the action of a girls' basketball camp, then still in progress. This was a Christian camp, and yet the girls were swaggering around on the court, slapping one another on the butt, and generally acting as unladylike as they could.

While having nothing against girls learning how to put a ball through a hoop, we have a great objection to girls learning anything from instruction that couldn't care less about protecting and preserving their femininity.

Protecting femininity -- when it comes to sports -- has in the past been accomplished by keeping the girls as far away from the action as possible. This is putting femininity under a glass case in a museum. It is a porcelain doll femininity. It is a throwback to the era when horses would sweat, men would perspire, and women would glow.

But as soon as we learn how artificial and unnatural all that is, the tendency is to just throw girls into sports as though they were merely guys in a different weight class. Because aggressiveness is a key component in many sports, and because guys are naturally aggressive, it is not surprising that coaches of girls' teams have directed them to imitate that one pre-existing model, expecting them to learn how to compete the same way the boys do.

 

You cannot simply line all the sports up, and then line up all the boys and girls who turned out, and then match them all up. The genius of certain sports favors women, and the genius of others favors the men. Some occupy the middle, with men and women both able to participate. But if they are both participating, they should be developing their own distinctives.

Sports that favor women would include things like figure skating or floor gymnastics. The men might be able to get more oommph into their triple axle, but it doesn't matter. The women are still better. And besides male figure skaters have that nagging aura exuded by male ballet dancers. They might be as talented and as strong as all get out, but something is still, as the Spanish say, el wrongo.

Sports that favor the men lean to the overt tests of strength and speed. Some of them, like boxing or shot put, favor the men to the point of excluding any right-thinking women. In the middle, the sports should be allowed to develop in a way that fits the sexes -- the difference between men's lacrosse and women's lacrosse comes to mind.

All the valuable things that boys learn -- discipline, stamina, priorities -- are things that girls learn from sports as well. It is important for them to learn, and they should have every opportunity. But this should be taken as a tool to help them grow into a confident and self-assured Christian lady. That means that lady-like characteristics should not be drilled out of them for the sake of a good win/loss record. Among those lady-like characteristics, incidentally, we have to remember to include modesty. The fact that we have forgotten ourselves, and the whole point of athletics for our daughters, can be seen in the assumption, even among Christians, that outlandish immodesty is okay, provided it is for the sake of beach volleyball, or less drag in the school swimming pool.

It might be easy to dismiss all this as based on nothing other than our cultural prejudices. But I don't believe that is what is occurring at all. Run this thought experiment on yourself. Without mentioning any names, or pointing in any particular direction, say the phrase lesbian basketball coach to yourself. Does any particular profile come to mind? And do you want your daughter to look anything like that?



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Last Updated on Friday, 24 February 2012 16:59
 
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Robert Seward  Friday, February 24, 2012 8:49 pm
The rings and the horse. Definitely. the male expression of gymnastics.

How do you feel about the racing events. Swimming, running, skating, etc. I'm thinking Olympics here
elisabeth thunderberry  - I grew up wearing an army jacket!  Saturday, February 25, 2012 7:35 am
My teen years i wore an army jacket...i was tough...i hung around my four crazy good for nothing macho brothers!..and i was labeled Tom Boy...and......i was involved in Sports....track and field...however, there was never any slapping on butts...there were drugs (speed being used)....i didnt take it...I think competition is a great thing....ite really exciting...my own brother came to watch me run a race..now i run a different one!:)
Jane Dunsworth  Saturday, February 25, 2012 7:39 am
While applauding the overall point of the article, I'm going to join Robert in the nitpick party. Male gymnasts are hardly girly-men, and the sport is much more about strength than style, and women's racing swim suits cover more than almost anybody you'll see at the beach. On beach volleyball, though, and girls grunting and slapping their way around the basketball court, you're spot on. Beach volleyball is a particularly interesting case since it's a hard-driving, in-your-face kind of game, played by almost-naked girls.
Jonathan Frank  Saturday, February 25, 2012 7:44 am
I do not disagree with your main point here - that young ladies should be young ladies even on the field or court. And yet, I have two major problems with the post as written.

The first is that - and of course it's always easier to criticize than to offer solutions - you don't really present an alternative model. What does ladylike competition look like? Where can we see it? (Worst case, if it doesn't exist, were we perhaps right to think for hundreds of years that sports as such and women don't mix well? Or do we, conversely, have to rethink what is demanded of women?)

The second problem is that in dismissing the dismissal of cultural prejudice you do not account for, well, cultural prejudice. What makes, say, skating or the ballet "less manly"? Not, I would suggest, anything objective about dance or other public performance: more our own opinions, the fact that we culturally do not expect men to display themselves. Of course, I have my own biases here: my brother (now in the Marines) danced ballet for several years through high school; one of my best friends competed in gymnastics through his teenage years; my uncle (also a Marine) does Irish step dancing. But for counter-examples not directly personal to me, or those arts, I give you FIFA and the NFL, which have spent half their existences campaigning against "excessive celebrations" - and while sports fans mostly find the penalties excessive, the principle goes pretty much unquestioned. Even though the entire point of professional sports is spectacle, we feel like any personal aggrandizement is going too far.

On the flip side, women are culturally for display: you worry about our standards for swimsuits, but cite as examples of womanly physical pursuits all the sports and arts which put the body on display. An Elizabethan - not, of course, the final judge, but a reference point here - would be shocked. And speaking of display, my friends - mostly women - who skate themselves say they prefer watching the men. The given reason is that they think the men are better, they can physically do more - but isn't it possible, with all due respect to my friends, that there is more to it than that?
Gene Helsel  Saturday, February 25, 2012 8:01 am
It took two paper towels to clean up the coffee that exited my mouth when I hit the "as the Spanish say..." quip. Thanks (sort of.) Keep 'em coming.
Tammy Burns  Saturday, February 25, 2012 10:22 am
Sports are good for exercise but it does seem like our society has become too competitive.

But as far as throwback to the past, my female ancestors worked hard on the farm so they did sweat. The proverbs woman worked up a sweat planting a vineyard as well as other endeavors. Women aren't porcelain dolls.
Seth B.  Saturday, February 25, 2012 1:04 pm
Personally I think it's weird when *men* slap each other on the butt. Why can *they* get away with that?