Ten Reasons Why Your Kids Might Think You Are No Fun

Marriage and Family - Some Hard Words for Fathers

Written by Douglas Wilson

Friday, 06 January 2012 13:52

1. You believe the heel of the loaf of bread has more nutrients in it because it is browner.

2. You think that kids were made for the living room and not the living room for the kids.

3. You believe that being a disciplinarian consists of using repeated commands in a professional bossy voice.

4. You think that telling stories at the dinner table is weird.

5. You think that laughter at the dinner table is even weirder.

6. You possess a bag of carob chips, which you put into cookies made out of trail mix.

7. You place a high value on "teaching them a work ethic," but that value is not nearly as high as your "slave labor is great ethic."

8. You don't want them to know any dumb music.

9. You think dessert is for sissies.

10. You want them to learn to appreciate you without you ever appreciating them.

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Comments

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David Gray

Saturday, January 07, 2012 6:57 am

I've never understood the whole "slave labor" rif. Having children participate in the labor of maintaining the home, consistent with their age and capacity, is not only good for the children but good for the functioning of the family and has been understood to be just that for millenia.

The family burns wood for heat? What's wrong with the sons, when old enough, to participate in gathering and splitting wood? Letting them live in provided comfort without any participation isn't doing them a favor.

Maybe the comment is just aimed at people who rent their children out but I must admit I don't know anyone like that.

Jane Dunsworth

Saturday, January 07, 2012 7:48 am

I'm thinking it's aimed at people who treat their kids like slaves rather than like sons.

Sons have a role to fill in the work of the home, but it's not the same role as slaves.

Consider the source -- it's highly unlikely that Doug Wilson is advocating that kids be allowed to "live in provided comfort without any participation."

Douglas Wilson

Saturday, January 07, 2012 8:07 am

David, Jane read it right. Two men can have two sons chop a cord of wood. One man is getting out of it himself, taking something, and the other man is giving something, a work ethic. The difference does register in the kids. And I have met plenty of children who grew up under a "taking" regime. The tragedy is that the parents (overwhelmingly) think they are giving something.

David Gray

Saturday, January 07, 2012 12:02 pm

Thanks for the reply. I guess most of what I've seen, and what was true in my childhood, was very low expectations for work. I'd have been better served if my parents had had higher expectations in that regard. I can see where intent makes an enormous difference, I just don't recognize that I've seen it as a problem that often. But then I'm hardly omniscient.

Jane Dunsworth

Sunday, January 08, 2012 2:17 pm

David, I think the problem, insofar as there is one, is that when fathers do wake up and realize that you are right, they too often do what Doug warns against. You're right that the larger, or at least more common, problem currently is not expecting anything significant. But ditches on both sides, and all that.

There is a world of difference between "you do this for me because I let you live here" and "you do this for yourself and for the rest of us because we all live here." The difference is fairly subjective, but real.

Nathan

Saturday, January 07, 2012 3:58 pm

...missed one:

11. You aren't ever around or available to have fun with.

Tammy Burns

Saturday, January 07, 2012 7:01 pm

Parents are to leave an inheritance for their children & grandchildren. Children are to honor their parents and to show piety first to their parents.